Sunday, October 3, 2010

Just a list..

I worry that people won't know how much they truly mean to me.

I worry that I won't mean the same to someone as they do to me.

I worry that I hold on when I shouldn't, even though I know I'm never gonna let go, so what's the point in worrying about it?

I worry that the closest people to me will slip away because I try to hold on too tightly.

I worry that we, as humans, are too ignorant to face the truth and what's truly best for us.

I worry about those closest to me because I would rather suffer than watch them suffer (even if it might be the hardest thing for me to deal with).

I worry that I will lose you forever.

I worry that I won't make it.

I worry that I won't be the one.

I worry that you're the bigger person than me. I worry that you see that and look down on me.

I worry that you don't know that I look up to you and admire all of your hard work and dedication.

I worry that you don't think I can handle the situation, when I really know that it is somewhat true, but I won't give in that easily. I will handle it, no matter what, even with pain in it.

I worry that you won't see the light that shines from my face when I'm around you.

I worry that I'll scare you away with all of my worrying.

I worry that you don't know that I'm scared of the future as well and I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Is that better or worse than you since you know what you're doing?

I worry that I'll never see you in the way I used to see you or how I see you in my dreams.

I, however, don't worry about how I won't feel differently. I've come to terms with these worries and I'm going to live each day with them. They're starting to become a part of me. I might not define myself by this, but these things are always in the back of my mind. I don't worry that you won't have someone to love you because I know I do. I don't worry about you making it, I worry about your struggles on your way to making it. I worry that you'll never see how much you do mean to me, because you're the greatest thing to me. I never worry about that, because I know it to be true.

And here's a picture of a puppy to make it end on a happier note

5 comments:

  1. I worry, too. I just hope it's not as long of a list as yours is.

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  2. Hey -- If there's one thing I've learned in life, its that worrying only pushes away the thing you want to have/happen. Be aware certainly, but don't worry! Hakuna Matata!

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  3. As Ghandi once said, "Don't worry, be happy homie."

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  4. I agree with Robert! Take every day one day at a time as just do your best...it's all any of us can do! :)

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  5. I suspect you know that worrying isn't necessarily healthy. I'm a worrier as well.

    Have you considered Buddist or Taoist practices? They might help. Exercise helps, but I know you do that already.

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