Do you ever worry that the past was all a dream?
Sometimes I worry that it was only just a dream. Dreams you wake up from. You are in a different world, you are in a serene world away from the troubles of every day life. So in this sense, it was just a dream. The recent past to me seems like a whole other world that I never really lived in, or sometimes I wish I had lived, but abruptly woke up from. My world now is so radically different and when I look back on it all, it seems unreal to me. It literally feels like a dream.
What are dreams? Why do we have the dreams we have? Sometimes I want to crush my dreams because they bring me back. Maybe that's why I feel that it was all a dream, since I dream about it, and that is all I can do. That's why when I wake up I hate that I dreamt anything at all. I don't want to live in the past. I don't want to look back and forget to look forward. It does me no good to live in the past when it doesn't exist. That's probably why I look to the future alone now.
I'm worried that these dream worlds will never be anything but that. And they won't. They are only mere memories encompassed in my mind that I replay over and over. I worry that I will continue to dream, when all I want is to move on and forget. I want to dream of the future and things that have yet to happen, but obviously this cannot happen. If the future were known, I wouldn't have to dream about it; I would be, and am, living it.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live
-J.K. Rowling
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