We have a choice

While choice theory isn't looking at the brain from a neurological aspect, it is still a psychological factor that all of us need to be aware of. In all parts of our life we seek power; power over our lives and others lives around us. We tend to look at what the world is doing to us instead of looking at ourselves and how we are letting things happen to us. Yes, there are definitely outside factors that give some people more opportunities than others, but if we constantly wait for the world to change for us, we are going to remain in the same spot throughout life, blaming our problems on others instead of taking the responsibility ourselves.
This book I'm reading couldn't have come at a better time for me (Choice Theory by William Glasser, M.D.). It's easy to be sad or feel down because of something that happened to us, but it's our own choice to how we react to it. If we continue to feel depressed about something that happened that we cannot control, it is by our own choice that we have remained to feel that way. No one else is making us feel sad for longer than we have to. People continue to dwell on the hard things and blame their sorrows on the ones who did the "bad" things to us, but we allow ourselves to continue being in that position.

We all have personal freedom and too many times we try to control other people or we get upset when we aren't able to. Why should we expect that we can have control of someone else when they don't want to be controlled themselves? There are two wrongs in that situation. The first wrong is the person wanting to control another person. The second and almost worse wrong is that person allowing them to do it (considering they let them). No one but yourself allows for things to affect us the way they do. If something bad happens, we have the personal freedom to say that we are not going to let it dictate our lives, that we can think for ourselves and accept others the way they are.

Relationships in general are difficult to maintain because we try to control the other person, even if it's in a small way. This creates a problem because everyone is free to be their own person, not living under the power of anyone else. It is easy to let someone else try to make us into something else, but it shows true strength when we decide that everyone is their own person and we can't change them. And why would you want to? Everyone is unique and that's what makes them special. You can't expect to change anyone, and you shouldn't. Expect only to change yourself, because that is ultimately your choice, and yours alone. If you blame all your problems on something or somebody else, you're only displacing the problem which won't. Change comes from personal choice, with which we have to stand strong and take responsibility over that and let everyone take responsibility for theirs too.

I'm taking responsibility of my life and my actions. I see that it is ultimately my decision how I feel and I allow how things affect me. Before I saw it as things being done to me, but people aren't going to change, so I have to change how I react to circumstances if I want to remain psychologically healthy and strong on my fight through life. The one thing I have control over is myself, so I'm going to use that power to create a better environment for myself. There's no use trying to force others to be different than what they are. If we start to accept people for what they are, relationships will be easier to maintain. I'm starting to see power in my own eyes, so I'm going to embrace it and make the best for myself. That's my choice and I'm sticking to it.