Saturday, January 22, 2011
Emma
Wednesday nights
I just started working with my dad and sister again with a basketball program for autistic children. I had initially started this program with my dad, only it was soccer and not basketball, back when I was in the 8th grade. I was very involved in the program and I love working with the kids, they teach me so much and I can help them as well. I continued with the program through high school when I didn't have to work at my other job, and some of the kids I've gotten to know for a while now. It is such rewarding experience and I consider myself lucky that I've been a part of it for so long.
On the topic of autism though, I worry about the world in which we live in because most people with a disability always face hardship from others because they're different. It makes me so sad to see when kids have a difficult time growing up because they might not get the same experience that someone else would have. They are made fun of brought down, not able to feel comfortable in their environment, which they should feel comfortable in and be able to prosper there. And not saying this is only a problem with those with disabilities, but also with regular children. But I'd have to say one thing, I have found so many kids that have so much to bring to this world that they don't get the chance to express to other people. The kids I have met and worked with have made my life more enjoyable and meaningful because it exposes me to a side that I don't see all the time and it makes me appreciate things more. They can still see light in the world even if they have a deficiency that makes it more difficult for them to achieve. That makes me see light in the situations that we often feel as if we will just fail at. Have spirit, have belief in yourself, and a lot of the kids I know do. And if they don't, I try to help them see that they do have the ability to accomplish these things, it might just take more work to get there.
I just wish sometimes that people could stop making fun of others because they might be different from ourselves. Once you step outside of your box and experience something new, it is usually better than when we stay in our secluded bubbles. Different doesn't mean it's bad, it just means unknown, and people are generally afraid of the unknown. Conquer the unknown, it'll widen your horizons and let you see a new perspective on life. Life will mean more to you then.
On the topic of autism though, I worry about the world in which we live in because most people with a disability always face hardship from others because they're different. It makes me so sad to see when kids have a difficult time growing up because they might not get the same experience that someone else would have. They are made fun of brought down, not able to feel comfortable in their environment, which they should feel comfortable in and be able to prosper there. And not saying this is only a problem with those with disabilities, but also with regular children. But I'd have to say one thing, I have found so many kids that have so much to bring to this world that they don't get the chance to express to other people. The kids I have met and worked with have made my life more enjoyable and meaningful because it exposes me to a side that I don't see all the time and it makes me appreciate things more. They can still see light in the world even if they have a deficiency that makes it more difficult for them to achieve. That makes me see light in the situations that we often feel as if we will just fail at. Have spirit, have belief in yourself, and a lot of the kids I know do. And if they don't, I try to help them see that they do have the ability to accomplish these things, it might just take more work to get there.
I just wish sometimes that people could stop making fun of others because they might be different from ourselves. Once you step outside of your box and experience something new, it is usually better than when we stay in our secluded bubbles. Different doesn't mean it's bad, it just means unknown, and people are generally afraid of the unknown. Conquer the unknown, it'll widen your horizons and let you see a new perspective on life. Life will mean more to you then.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
My view
So I just finished the book A Room with a View by E.M. Forster for my 20th Century British Novel class. I really enjoyed it and the main character Lucy struggled at the end between her fiance and the guy she actually loved. There were a few things that I read that spoke to my soul so to say...
If you do go away to school I will miss you, but I also think you may need it. I haven't really felt this way until now, but I worry about you. I thought you would find success right at the turning point in our lives, but I've watched you and I hate to see you get hurt with things. It makes me feel bad and I only want you to find what will make you happy. Sometimes I wish things were different, but I know nothing will change and I've learned to deal with it. You may think whatever you want about me, but I know that you are always in my heart, always my best friend, always the one who got away. I'll be happy when I see you move on and find a good rhythm and happiness. You can say that you don't miss me, I think about you every day.
"Passion does not blind. No. Passion is sanity, and the woman you love, she is the only person you will ever really understand."
AND
Sometimes I don't know exactly how to feel in my current situation, but I still can associate my feelings with the second quote especially. I can try to ignore it, but the love I had for you will never truly leave me. You were too important to me and you still remain important to me. I know our lives are heading down separate paths, but for a time we had intertwined paths and I never wanted anything different. I have lost you physically, but never mentally nor emotionally. If you love someone you set them free. If I was selfish I would have tried to stop you and beg you to come back. Unfortunately, your happiness means much more to me than that, so I will always want you to find happiness with not matter what or who it is. That is why I think I'm okay with seeing you with someone else or talking to someone else... it's not that I'm completely over you, it's that I can accept it that I'm not right for you and that I need to move on and not dwell on it."You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you. I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal."
If you do go away to school I will miss you, but I also think you may need it. I haven't really felt this way until now, but I worry about you. I thought you would find success right at the turning point in our lives, but I've watched you and I hate to see you get hurt with things. It makes me feel bad and I only want you to find what will make you happy. Sometimes I wish things were different, but I know nothing will change and I've learned to deal with it. You may think whatever you want about me, but I know that you are always in my heart, always my best friend, always the one who got away. I'll be happy when I see you move on and find a good rhythm and happiness. You can say that you don't miss me, I think about you every day.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The little things are most worth it
I feel that I've learned lately to cherish and enjoy the little things and try not to stress as much about things, especially the things you cannot control. Worrying too much about things weighs us down because it gives us something we're constantly thinking about, but not in a good way. Finding something small that makes you happy can sometimes be more rewarding than something really big that can make you happy too I think. At least for me I've found that.
Lately, I have been having a good time, good life, good year. There have already been some things that have on the other side of the spectrum and have tried to hold me back a little from moving forward, but I'm not going to let those things stand in my way. I honestly feel like me right now. I'm happy to know that this is the person I am. I'm proud of myself and I'm enjoying this crazy journey we call life.
Unfortunately I was just turned down for being an orientation leader at school, but I'm not going to let it get to me. There were 40 something applicants for 4 spots, so the odds were slim, but I still tried to get the job. It was a good experience to go in to do the interviewing process and everything, so I can still take something good from it, even though I didn't get the desired outcome. This means though, that I have to start the job hunt now... I really do need to get a job, but I feel like it's going to be more difficult with my school schedule and work load. Oh, but I do have a part-time thing on Wednesday's that will be starting this week. It's a basketball program for autistic kids and I'll get paid a little for helping with it, so that'll give me something to work off of at least.
As for school, I have loads and loads of reading to do for my classes, but I'm still excited about this semester and the opportunites I'll have to learn and grow from my classes. I feel like each one has a lot to offer to me in strengthening my analyzing, writing, reading, and discussion skills. And it'll be a challenge, so it'll give me strength to accomplish tough things. That will give me good satisfaction after it is all done.
One other thing that I have found to help me is to appreciate my friends and what they do for me. I love hanging with my friends to get me out of the house and let my mind roam free a little bit, and they make me happy. Laughing is important, and they sure make me do a lot of it. Things are good right now. It makes me happy to say that. I'm just trying to hold on to it for as long as I can.
Lately, I have been having a good time, good life, good year. There have already been some things that have on the other side of the spectrum and have tried to hold me back a little from moving forward, but I'm not going to let those things stand in my way. I honestly feel like me right now. I'm happy to know that this is the person I am. I'm proud of myself and I'm enjoying this crazy journey we call life.
Unfortunately I was just turned down for being an orientation leader at school, but I'm not going to let it get to me. There were 40 something applicants for 4 spots, so the odds were slim, but I still tried to get the job. It was a good experience to go in to do the interviewing process and everything, so I can still take something good from it, even though I didn't get the desired outcome. This means though, that I have to start the job hunt now... I really do need to get a job, but I feel like it's going to be more difficult with my school schedule and work load. Oh, but I do have a part-time thing on Wednesday's that will be starting this week. It's a basketball program for autistic kids and I'll get paid a little for helping with it, so that'll give me something to work off of at least.
As for school, I have loads and loads of reading to do for my classes, but I'm still excited about this semester and the opportunites I'll have to learn and grow from my classes. I feel like each one has a lot to offer to me in strengthening my analyzing, writing, reading, and discussion skills. And it'll be a challenge, so it'll give me strength to accomplish tough things. That will give me good satisfaction after it is all done.
One other thing that I have found to help me is to appreciate my friends and what they do for me. I love hanging with my friends to get me out of the house and let my mind roam free a little bit, and they make me happy. Laughing is important, and they sure make me do a lot of it. Things are good right now. It makes me happy to say that. I'm just trying to hold on to it for as long as I can.
Friday, January 14, 2011
An Eternity... or so it seems
Wow. It has literally been forever since I've last posted on here. I feel terrible about it, not because many people are waiting by their computer anticipating my next post, but because I feel that it's important for me to continue updating things on here and to continue writing. Just because I'm not writing on here doesn't mean I'm not writing in general though because the main reason why I haven't had an opportunity to write on here is not for lack of interest or thoughts, but because I have been busily reading and writing for my classes this semester. My schedule is jam packed and I've been busier this entire first week back at school than I think I've ever been in a semester at Flint so far. This will be an intense but exciting semester and I'm really looking forward to it. Plus I know if I survive, especially with good grades, I will feel immensely proud of myself because I know I have a big work load that I've taken on. I know it's going to take a lot more work and time on my part, but I have a good feeling that things are going to turn out good and I like to challenge myself. Ok, I need to remember to post soon on here again, so I can get into detail on things that are on my mind and things that happened over break and what not, but I felt the need to explain myself on the lack of postings lately. Hopefully the next one will be soon, but at the moment my internet on my laptop at home is currently not working at all and I cannot figure out what in the heck is wrong with it, so I'm only able to use the internet at school. I am working diligently to get the problem figured out because I feel desperate without it already. Au revoir mes amis!
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